Miss Singapore Universe 2007
The entire night was such a non-competition. It was obvious who was going to win even before the pageant started. The very bootylicious, Jessica Tan, was the media and crowd favourite. See body of evidence below.
She was leading in every segment until she proved the bimbo stereotype. Don’t get me wrong, she does have some wits about her. To the question about adopting a cause, she could have said answered “Stop stewardess abuse” or “Adopt a diet” – as mentioned in her interview with the New Paper, she used to eat 10 burgers at a go until she decided to slim down. Instead she gave the rather noble answer of getting children to adopt a tree. Wow, an environmentally-friendly beauty contestant.
But she rambled. She rambled about how “important, I mean serious global warming is”; she went off tangent as she tried to explain how “trees will absorb the carbon dioxide in the world.” Geez, since when was a beauty contest also a science lesson?
Anyway, she sashayed away with the crown, the cash and the sash. She also won Miss Body Beautiful. She wasn’t a bad choice. But my question is, would she even make an impression at the Miss Universe contest? She’s not that tall, she’s not that beautiful and she definitely isn’t that eloquent! Our girl is going to stand out as much as a Chinese Polly Pocket in a sea of sculpted Amazonians who have double degrees in ecotourism and finance, and a poor, developing country to save.
I thought if we really wanted an equal shot at Miss Universe, 2nd runner up Christabel Campbell would be a more suitable choice. She’s curvy, she’s got the height and youth – being 1.78m at 19! – and she’s good-looking enough in an exotic way for those ang moh judges. A big plus is she speaks well. Ya ya, i know she offended people with her reply that “Singapore will win an Olympic gold in whichever sport the sports association decided to import foreign talent in”. Still, she’s pretty smart and honest to say that. Get real those of you who think otherwise. Besides such things can be trained by force feeding her National Education lessons.
For those who want to read more about Miss Singapore Universe from disgruntled viewers, there’s a very angry post on the official forum decrying the contest as a fraud. I wonder if it’s from a rejected semi-finalist?
Let him endorse cake
Celebrity endorsements have reach new highs, or should I say low? Just the other day, I couldn’t even wait for a bus in peace without being bombarded by a huge image of this dude beaming and giving the thumbs up to a particular brand of soft drinks. I thought it’s one of those lazy, run of the mill ads, until I took a closer look and realised the dude is a celebrity! The winner of Project Superstar 2!
Eh who? This is madness. Why would people care what he drink, much lest follow his footsteps and buy it. His legion of fans might but they count for probably 0.000304% of the population in Singapore.
For a country that has a serious dearth of celebrities with true star power, we sure have plenty of celeb-backed endorsements. There’s Jack Neo exhorting men in mid-life crisis to go on a holiday with OCBC when he’s not extolling the cooling powress of Fujitsu aircon. We have perky sweet-pies like Fiona Xie attributing her shiny, bounciness to Marigold fruit juices and Osim. Turn on the TV and there’s Stefanie Sun frolicking with SK Jewellery, Xiang Yun telling ah-sohs to shop at her favourite Shop and Save, Rui-en caressing her Olay creams, Denise Keller preening with Mastercard, Edmund Chen running his fingers through his mane … you name it. Don’t even get me started on the slimming ads which change one less than rake-thin celeb for another every three months.
I wonder whoever thought of the bright idea that it actually works. I understand if people buy Omega cos Nicole Kidman is the ambassador. But seriously, I wouldn’t buy Citigems jewellery just cos Joanne Peh appeared in a tastefully shot ad.
Very soon, every reality show star – bozos from The Dance Floor or four year olds from Kindergarten Superstar – will be fronting ads. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
