URGH!!

As if my day isn’t bad enough. I just read online that my favourite female mag JANE is shutting down. For those of you who’re unfamiliar with JANE, it’s simply a fantastically irrerevent read – an aberration in the world of female magazines who almost dictate the must-dos, the must-wears and the must-buys.

A sample of some of its articles runs along the lines of “We followed Cosmopolitan’s Dating Guide”, “Reviews that might change your life (or at least wake you up from your winter slumber), “Under $25 and Not Crap”. The kooky tone, throwaway lines and some really great pictures which never appear overly ‘model-ish’ are what got me hooked. Unfortunately, it’s not enough to lure sufficient advertisers or fickle readers in their 20s – the target audience of Jane – and Conde Nast announced two days ago they’re winding JANE after 10 years. I might have bought my very last issue of JANE with Zooey Deschanel on the cover last Friday at Borders while waiting to eat Chongqing steamboat with my friends.

It’s tragic. JANE has been a faithful companion for almost 4 years off-and-on. It’s ex ok, so I couldn’t afford to buy every issue. But once upon a time at an old job, i used to read it free every month. What it really goes to show is that there is a certain mould for mags to adhere to, whatever the genre: Female mags typically shout about sex, fashion, beauty saviours; male mags of a higher order like Esquire and GQ have lots of intelligent sounding words like “Saddam Files” and “Sartorial Questions Answered”, lag mags of a waaaay lower order simply have scantily-clad women on them, coverlines redunant unless they read “MAKE HER BEG FOR IT”.

Don’t even get me started on the local magazine scene. We have women’s mags which are as thick – and not half as useful – as a telephone directory, male mags which are poor imitators of their US and UK counterparts, interchangeable teeny bopper mags which are perfect for tweens instead of teens, tabloid rags masquerading as the go-to guide for entertainment and lifestyle. They’re all BATA: Buy And Throw Away.

I retract. It’s not fair of me to condemn magazines. They’re afterall fluff. Nobody really expects an epiphany from reading Glamour, Vanity Fair or Men’s Health. Continue to talk cock writers! Make people believe. I am a stickler for the mantra, “if you believe in your own bullshit, others will believe in it too”. And farewell JANE.

URGH!!