Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?
I grew up with Sesame Street – hopelessly addicted. I spent endless afternoons religiously glued to the TV in kindergarden and later primary school. My fascination with Oscar, Big Bird, Terry, Elmo and gang waned when I discovered My Little Ponies. But that’s another story.
Once in a while, during secondary school and college, I’d catch a glimpse of that childhood while channel-surfing. Of course, the puerile TV dramas and variety shows always proved too much to resist. A familiar sense of boredom set in on a hot Sat afternoon lured me to the Net. Doesn’t it always begin this way? I was at my usual pretentious sites – Guardian.co.uk to be exact – when I read an interview with Feist. There’s the usual interview crap and it mentioned she appeared on Sesame Street singing her megahit ’1,2,3,4′ She’s not only the only one. Okay, I know celebs and musicians like Stevie Wonder and Johnny Cash have long appeared on Sesame Street. In this world of startling changes, especially in the media, it’s rare to see a ‘tradition’ is being continued. Call me sentimental, but I found myself on YouTube watching these clips.
Yah, yah, it’s lame to say I wanna be a kid again. I don’t. If anything, watching them as a cynical adult is kinda humanising. A rare moment to feel silly, happy and easily impressed again. Of course, the clips are also so damn cute!
Here’s Norah Jones singing ‘Don’t know whY’ searching for her friend Y:
And there are soft rockers Goo Goo Dolls:
Whiny James Blunt and his annoying song (that doesn’t seem so ‘balls-squeezing’ here) :
For some reason, I can’t Feist on Sesame Street! Can somebody upload it please?
I am a celeb, see me blog
I don’t understand celebrities. Every other day, they appear in interviews decrying the invasion of their privacy. While at home, they go set up personal blogs and post their every inane thought. Why blame the media for doing their job when they are helping you get famous. Show me a celeb who doesn’t want to be famous. Right, like being obscure would get you fed.
Paris Hilton is probably the most shameless media whore, but hey, at least she doesn’t get hypocritical about it. Lindsay Lohan is another fame-seeker and she summed it up best in her unusually lucid interview with Nylon: “I obviously like it, I wouldn’t ever want them not to take my picture. I’d be worried. I’d be like, ‘do people not care about me?’”
So I don’t know what do Singaporean celebs have to complain about. The media is hardly intrusive and frankly speaking, I don’t think most Singaporeans give two hoots about what Joanne Peh or Zoe Tay thinks. They’re hardly personalities in the real sense of the word ‘celebrity’. They’re merely actors in badly written TV shows.
The blogroll reads (two are kindly shared by my celeb-watching chum):
A law student / Miss Malaysia Universe/ Deal or No Deal’s Suitcase Girl thinks it’s her duty as woman of many substances to dispense dating advice.
Dasmond Koh (Some TV host/DJ)
He complains about his double chin and eyebags – how manly. Stick to writing in Chinese or he risks imparting grammatical boo-hoos to his fans. His blog reads “the new season of Jean Yip’s show is backed”.
Rainie Yang (Taiwanese starlet starring in Spider Lilies)
All in Chinese. Sorry, I can’t read it very well. From what I can make out, she talks about trying to love herself more and finding a dream lover. Okay, nice to see even cutesy singers have self-esteem issues.
The blog is full of Panda drawings! And many many many smiley faces and exclamation marks!!!!! Is she blogging while on speed?!!!!! As a guy friend says, it makes him feel nauseous reading it.
Nice witty entries about his movies and various other life experiences. Except nobody really wants to know about Zach Braff.
Things that puzzle me
It was a slow morning. My ipod was down and I had no magazine to flip. What’s a sad commuter to do but pay more attention to whatever was on TV Mobile. Channel NewsAsia had an interview with a scientist who was talking about the future of food. We are going to grow meat! Food research expert Prof Brian Ford spoke about the potential for Singapore to be a centre for food research, namely meat cultivation in labs. Imagine, growing our very own wagyu beef harvested from dinky Science Park at Buona Vista!
All that scary mad-cow diseases and Avian flu epidemics have resulted in the search for disease-free meats. While the idea is a lil hard to swallow, what was more disturbing is CNA’s reporter Pearl Forss’ interview with him. Talk about stiff. Perhaps she’s under the pressure to speak PRO-PER-LEE as a newscaster, but her entire delivery is unnatural at best and a turn-off at worst. She’s obsessed with pronouncing every single vowel in her questions. This is an illustration of how she talks:
“Pro/fess/oor Ford/ (widens eyes), with the rise of epi/de/mics such as mad-cow/ di/sea/ses (pregnant pause for effect) and the Avi/aan Bird Flu (pauses again), how much can groow/ing our own meat help? (smiles thinly as if she’s asked the most important question in the world).
Puzzle #1: Why is she speaking like that? Is this a Channel Newsasia policy? Did she have to take special lessons? But the other reporters speak fine to me.
Puzzle #2: Jade Sea’s Nivea Visage ad for Deep Pore Control is placed outside Seletar Air Base. (Don’t ask me what am i doing there). Strange. True, she’ll be good eyecandy for the NS men but would she be an effective sales person to sell the range to grubby guys who don’t bother to wash their faces? Or would these NS men rush to buy Nivea Visage for their girlfriends in the hopes they’ll start looking like Jade after use?
Puzzle #3: As reported in the tiny, running news strip at the bottom of CNA, Britain is tussling internally over the decision to grant knighthood to David Beckham. Who really cares who’s knighted ? It just shows how cheap royalty is nowadays. Of course, only a newspaper like The Sun backs his knighthood. Despite her Posh Spice moniker, Victoria Beckham is anything but classy. But if Becks gets knighted, Victoria’s anorexic bones can be displayed in museum as Lady Victoria Beckham.
Puzzle #4: Also reported in CNA, Hoya Corp is launching a friendly takeover of Pentax Corp. Why would a takeover be friendly? I’m clueless about business but no matter how agreeable the terms may be, it’s still a bad sign for Japanese companies. Their culture is such that they’d rather remain independent at the expense of shareholders than sell out. That said, the deal is inked. Culture lost to the Mammon yet again.
Miss Singapore Universe 2007
The entire night was such a non-competition. It was obvious who was going to win even before the pageant started. The very bootylicious, Jessica Tan, was the media and crowd favourite. See body of evidence below.
She was leading in every segment until she proved the bimbo stereotype. Don’t get me wrong, she does have some wits about her. To the question about adopting a cause, she could have said answered “Stop stewardess abuse” or “Adopt a diet” – as mentioned in her interview with the New Paper, she used to eat 10 burgers at a go until she decided to slim down. Instead she gave the rather noble answer of getting children to adopt a tree. Wow, an environmentally-friendly beauty contestant.
But she rambled. She rambled about how “important, I mean serious global warming is”; she went off tangent as she tried to explain how “trees will absorb the carbon dioxide in the world.” Geez, since when was a beauty contest also a science lesson?
Anyway, she sashayed away with the crown, the cash and the sash. She also won Miss Body Beautiful. She wasn’t a bad choice. But my question is, would she even make an impression at the Miss Universe contest? She’s not that tall, she’s not that beautiful and she definitely isn’t that eloquent! Our girl is going to stand out as much as a Chinese Polly Pocket in a sea of sculpted Amazonians who have double degrees in ecotourism and finance, and a poor, developing country to save.
I thought if we really wanted an equal shot at Miss Universe, 2nd runner up Christabel Campbell would be a more suitable choice. She’s curvy, she’s got the height and youth – being 1.78m at 19! – and she’s good-looking enough in an exotic way for those ang moh judges. A big plus is she speaks well. Ya ya, i know she offended people with her reply that “Singapore will win an Olympic gold in whichever sport the sports association decided to import foreign talent in”. Still, she’s pretty smart and honest to say that. Get real those of you who think otherwise. Besides such things can be trained by force feeding her National Education lessons.
For those who want to read more about Miss Singapore Universe from disgruntled viewers, there’s a very angry post on the official forum decrying the contest as a fraud. I wonder if it’s from a rejected semi-finalist?
Let him endorse cake
Celebrity endorsements have reach new highs, or should I say low? Just the other day, I couldn’t even wait for a bus in peace without being bombarded by a huge image of this dude beaming and giving the thumbs up to a particular brand of soft drinks. I thought it’s one of those lazy, run of the mill ads, until I took a closer look and realised the dude is a celebrity! The winner of Project Superstar 2!
Eh who? This is madness. Why would people care what he drink, much lest follow his footsteps and buy it. His legion of fans might but they count for probably 0.000304% of the population in Singapore.
For a country that has a serious dearth of celebrities with true star power, we sure have plenty of celeb-backed endorsements. There’s Jack Neo exhorting men in mid-life crisis to go on a holiday with OCBC when he’s not extolling the cooling powress of Fujitsu aircon. We have perky sweet-pies like Fiona Xie attributing her shiny, bounciness to Marigold fruit juices and Osim. Turn on the TV and there’s Stefanie Sun frolicking with SK Jewellery, Xiang Yun telling ah-sohs to shop at her favourite Shop and Save, Rui-en caressing her Olay creams, Denise Keller preening with Mastercard, Edmund Chen running his fingers through his mane … you name it. Don’t even get me started on the slimming ads which change one less than rake-thin celeb for another every three months.
I wonder whoever thought of the bright idea that it actually works. I understand if people buy Omega cos Nicole Kidman is the ambassador. But seriously, I wouldn’t buy Citigems jewellery just cos Joanne Peh appeared in a tastefully shot ad.
Very soon, every reality show star – bozos from The Dance Floor or four year olds from Kindergarten Superstar – will be fronting ads. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Elvin Ng vs. Splinter
Ok, thanks to my friend, I have managed to upload these two pictures of what I’ve blogged about. Hehe. They’re even in similar outfits!
Incidentally as I was posting this, The New Paper reported today that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will be opening in Singapore on March 23. In CGI animation, no less. If you’re a child of the 90s, it’s time to get nostalgic. I’m almost embarrassed to say I watched the original movie in 1990. Famous voices include Sarah Michelle Gellar as April (the reporter perpetually clad in yellow) and Zhang Ziyi as Karai, leader of the Foot Ninja Clan, whom the good turtles will be battling against.
Chinese New Year
Sumiko Tan of the Straits Times Life! wrote an article two Sundays ago about why we might deeply resent this festive holidays. It’s due to, psst, third auntie’s nosey, soon-to-be daughter-in-law showing off her 0.5 carat diamond ring from Lee Hwa. Big, fat deal rock.
In other words, relatives. Like every good Singapore Chinese forced to make nice, I paid utmost attention to the TV without looking too much like an anti-social freak. Here’s what TV land threw up to surprise zombiefied viewers.
1. Channel 5 screening Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, circa 1997, for the nth time. Groovy baby. What is this? A ten year anniversary screening? We’d really appreciate more current movies, even when they’re not sponsored by yet another beer maker/jewellery company/cooking oil brand.
2. News 5 reported nutritionists are worried about our fat consumption this Chinese New Year. If you must, choose crumbly, drier pastries which contain less fat. It’s more love letters, less melting almond cookies. Recommended intake: 3 cookies at each seating. So not happening …
3. NEWater is a bona fide tourist attraction. Something I only found out after catching the latest Zoe Tay MTV – Chinese New Year 2007 Edition. She prances around the fountain of NEWater Visitor Centre singing a chirpy CNY song. If I were the sponsor of her dress, I’d be rather worried she’s splashing around in my highly expensive-looking outfit. Her current bob is rather becoming – takes years off her, though the camera would do well not to zoom in near her eye areas. Anyway, bring your tourists friends here where they can “be immersed in a world of water and especially NEWwater … Come and be edutained!”
4. Pierre Png plugs Alfa Romeo. The TVC is gawd-eeky. Now, Pierre Png is your typical Singaporean wifey’s boy who probably looks more at home in a boring Nissan sedan than an snazzy Italian sports car. If you remember his acting range – I don’t blame you if you don’t – it’s frankly, quite unmemorable saved for his atrocious Mandarin. He lacks the charisma and gravitas to pull off a testimonial-esque advertisement for something that embodies as much passion and sex appeal as a sports car. The cheesy lines didn’t help. “You want excitement, you want freedom, you want to experience life, you want the new Alfa …” Does it make you wanna run out and buy the new Alfa? Not when Pierre Png’s spewing those lines.
